


Permutations

by potentiality_26



Category: New Tricks
Genre: Episode Related, F/M, M/M, Multi, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 07:11:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14491587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potentiality_26/pseuds/potentiality_26
Summary: Jane had been a little younger than the rest of them, and so beautiful back then.  Not that she was anything to sneeze at now, if she said so herself- but in those days she had really turned heads, and she was very good at using that to her advantage.  Which meant people tended to underestimate her- and that was what had drawn her to Stephen in the beginning.  Not just because he never underestimated her, but also because people so often underestimated him too- with his soft body and his hard eyes.  He was so clever, so self-important, and yet he never seemed to care if he looked the buffoon as long as he got want he wanted, and he always got what he wanted.  Well- almost always.She said, “But, Robert- surely you know there was only one of our little band Stephen was ever really interested in, and it wasn’t me.”In Stephen Fisher's hospital room after 'Part of a Whole.'





	Permutations

**Author's Note:**

> So as much as I enjoy this show for some reason I decided to really latch on to a couple of minor characters and a single episode. Fills the "unconsciousness" square for my hc_bingo. 
> 
> Not Brit-picked.

“Have you made the world safe for us again?” Jane asked Robert the next time she saw him.

He looked tired.  Of course, from what she gathered his job at the moment wasn’t an easy one, so maybe he always looked like that these days.  “You know I did something, or you wouldn’t be here at all,” he said.

“That’s true,” she replied, setting aside her book and reading glasses.

Robert all but collapsed into the chair next to hers, scrubbing a hand over his face.  “Has he been awake?”

“Not recently, or I really wouldn’t be here at all.”

 _Here_ was Stephen’s room in the hospital.  From one of the two chairs in the far corner it was a reasonably defensible space, but Jane would have gone on to another safe house- for all the good the last one had done her- if she hadn’t believed that Robert would be able to take care of the immediate problem.  There were still other problems in the form of Chris and Sarah Maitland, but those would most likely have to wait until Stephen was a little better.  Getting rid of them wasn’t in Robert’s power- nor was it his style.  It wouldn’t be, even if he hadn’t loved Sarah once.  As it was...

 _Ah, love_.  It certainly made for a sticky situation. 

Robert did look terribly worn out.  Upset about Sarah, maybe?  Stephen had told her that whatever was between them had ended a long time ago, but Stephen wasn’t always right- and nine times out of ten when he was wrong he was wrong about Robert Strickland.  Anyway, he didn’t have to love her still to be bothered about all this.  He had always been such a sensitive sort; he was probably going over his entire acquaintance with her now, trying to figure out what he had missed.  Had she ever really cared for him at all?  Was he just one more piece on her little chessboard?  Could it possibly be both?  Or was it neither, was it something else he still wasn’t seeing?

Jane herself hadn’t been too surprised when some of Robert’s people gave her the news.  Chris had always been shifty, and she was sure he had only gotten worse; there were other ways to make a fortune, but not very many of them.  And Sarah... Jane had known that there was more to her than met the eye, but she had never bothered to figure out what.  Sarah had only ever been on her periphery, and Jane wasn’t interested in kicking herself over that now. 

If he was troubled about Sarah, though, Robert didn’t mention her to Jane.  He said instead, “Do you two have to do this?”

 _That_ surprised her.  “What two?  Do what?”

“You and Stephen.”

“As much as I support blaming Stephen for everything, he’s not doing much of anything but sleep right at the moment.”  Although if anyone could find a way to aggravate Robert while unconscious and connected to half a dozen machines by various tubes and leads, it would probably be Stephen. 

Robert pulled a face.  “No, I know, I mean- do you have to do the sniping and the little insults and the pretending you don’t care?”  His fingers curled into a fist against the arm of his chair.  “I saw you.  Before we knew he’d pull through.”

Jane shut her eyes.  The vision of Stephen- all that blood pooled on his chest and flowing out of his mouth- seemed to have branded itself on the inside of her eyelids.  She was still acclimating herself to it.  And her behavior when it happened... that she had kicked herself over, multiple times already.  She hadn’t reacted that slowly to a crisis in decades- but, of course, she hadn’t been around anyone who meant even a fraction of what Stephen Fisher did to her in decades either. 

That thought made her want to make another crack about him, but when she opened her eyes again she could see that Robert was very near the end of his rope.  Even if he didn’t say her name aloud Sarah was still on the air between them.  Jane could feel her own expression soften.  She patted Robert’s hand.  “Sorry,” she said.  “Defense mechanism.”

He nodded, like he knew that- which he must have done.  Stephen was the same way with him, and even if Robert didn’t usually play along he had to understand what it was about.  He was just that tired, Jane decided.  She couldn’t imagine not having enough energy left for a well-placed dig, but she supposed it happened- and Robert had had as bad a day as any of them- except maybe Stephen, who slept on.

They both kept quiet for a while.  Jane could see that Robert was thinking about something; if he was awake Stephen would prod, try to find out what it was, but he was sleeping and Jane was... different.  She elected to wait.  Robert would talk when he was good and ready.    

Robert said, “I used to wonder if you two were-” he cleared his throat, awkwardly- “involved.”

“No.  And… also yes.”  Jane laughed a little at Robert’s frown.  “Stephen and I… understood each other.  That can be enough on a cold night, and there were a lot of those.” 

Jane had been a little younger than the rest of them, and so beautiful back then.  Not that she was anything to sneeze at now, if she said so herself- but in those days she had really turned heads, and she was very good at using that to her advantage.  Which meant people tended to underestimate her- and that was what had drawn her to Stephen in the beginning.  Not just because he never underestimated her, but also because people so often underestimated him too- with his soft body and his hard eyes.  He was so clever, so self-important, and yet he never seemed to care if he looked the buffoon as long as he got want he wanted, and he always got what he wanted.  Well- almost always. 

She said, “But, Robert- surely you know there was only one of our little band Stephen was ever really interested in, and it wasn’t me.”

Robert blinked, looking genuinely startled.  “No, I never… _who_?”

Jane rolled her eyes and didn’t answer.  She had balanced on the knife edge that secret so long it had become second nature- not that it had ever been much of a secret.

 _Oh Robert._   _So clever and yet so stupid sometimes._

Robert had seen the potential in both of them, always, even though no one ever underestimated _him_.  No, he was the golden boy, much to Chris Maitland’s distaste- that had so clearly been _his_ position for as long as he could remember, and he so hated to be usurped, which must have made happened with Sarah even worse for him.  Everybody loved Robert, if reluctantly in some quarters.  In hindsight Jane knew that she and Stephen and Hitch too- nearly all of them, come to that- had been young for how jaded they were.  But back then she thought Robert was already much too old for all the hope inside of him.  He had this... true blue streak running through him- not enough to keep him away from Sarah, just enough to make him think that it might all end happily.  Stupid indeed. 

She could see Robert’s wheels turning.  See him realize that she wouldn’t tell him anything more.  See him try- even lacking vital information- to reassess everything he knew about Stephen.  It was rather sweet.

She patted his hand again.  “It’ll be all right, Robert.  _He’ll_ be all right.”  When Robert’s eyes focused enough to meet hers again, she went on: “Now.  Don’t you have people to wrangle?”

His expression was caught between acknowledgement that she was right and resentment that she had brought it to his attention.  Odd how he was so much older but his expressions were still just the same.  She refused to feel too sorry for him, anyway.  He could track Stephen down in search of answers later, if he wanted them so much.  For now, Stephen was in no state; he didn’t like anyone to see him weak, but he liked Robert to see him weak least of all, and Jane knew it.  “I do,” he said finally.

“Then go wrangle them,” she said.  “Trust me, it’ll take a great deal more than this to finish off Stephen Fisher.”

“Maybe I want to make sure you don’t smother him with a pillow,” Robert said.   

It was a weak joke- they always were with Robert, he just didn’t have the same kind of inherent morbidity that she and Stephen did- but it was a good sign that he tried.  It meant he knew- in as much as any of them could ever know- that everything was going to be all right. 

“I won’t touch him,” Jane promised.  “Cross my heart.”

Robert feigned skepticism, but he nodded and rose.  “See you soon, all right?” he said.  “I don’t... I don’t want to lose track of you again.”

She nodded solemnly, and he kissed her on the cheek as he left. 

Jane pondered breaking her promise, if only to hold Stephen’s hand because she knew how much he would hate it, but then she glanced over at him and just... knew.  “How long have you been back with us?” she asked.  

“Just a… minute or two,” Stephen answered without opening his eyes. 

His voice was still weak, and there were still hitches as he fought to catch each labored breath.  Someone else, someone more like Robert, would tell him not to talk- but Jane wasn’t like Robert any more than she was like Stephen, and even after decades without each other she and Stephen fell so easily into old patterns. 

They leaned into each other’s weaknesses, the two of them.  They always had.  He used to hold her arm, prop her back up when she teetered on the sharp edge of hunger because she hadn’t eaten in too long not to _feel_ it.  And she used to let the way he covered up how much he cared with grim jokes and aggressively good humor charm rather than scare her, even though she knew that without his protective armor Stephen might well and truly lose it one day. 

“I didn’t know... you and Robert cared.”

“Yes you did,” she said.

“Yes I did,” he said.

They were both quiet for a while, just considering each other.  Considering where they had ended up after all these years.  The various machines that surrounded Stephen beeped a counterpoint, both comforting and strange.  She had missed even this, though she hadn’t let herself think about it in years- the way just sitting quietly with Stephen, just that, was so unlike it had ever been with anyone else.

“Did he really... not know about us... do you think?” Stephen eventually asked.  “I thought we were frightfully obvious.”

“Inasmuch as we were an us, yes,” Jane agreed.  “But even considering Sarah, Robert was always a romantic.”

Robert and Sarah- now _that_ had been frightfully obvious.  It was never said out loud, not in any quarter, but Jane knew that Chris must have known.  And she knew what it was to share someone’s heart, but she wasn’t like Chris either.  She couldn’t imagine that he had not resented it all these years, knowing that Sarah had only ever been half his- if even that much, for theirs had never been a passionate relationship.  Sarah was part of Chris’ plan for his future, and nothing, not even her sneaking away with Robert for such clumsily stolen hours, could be allowed to get in the way of that. 

Did it make more sense, in light of what they all now knew about Sarah?  About her own trajectory towards power?  Jane wasn’t sure how early Chris had known the truth about her, and might now never be sure, since neither Chris nor Sarah was likely long for the world, but perhaps he had always been riding on her coattails in a way, always been chasing along behind.  And perhaps he had always known that he was.  That must have been humiliating. 

“He expected more.”

Stephen was smiling faintly as he said it, and there was something softer around the edges than usual about him in that moment.  There almost always was, when he talked about Robert and Robert wasn’t there.  It made it easier for Jane to say, “It _could_ have been more, I suppose.”

He cocked his head to one side.  “Oh?”

Jane nodded.  “Do you know, I think you’re the only person I ever would have been willing to marry?”

His smile only widened.  “Thank god I’m... so bloody bent then, eh?”

“Well, yes,” she said.  “Although for a while I wasn’t sure if you were as bent as all that.”  Back then, at least within their little circle, it had seemed utterly pointless to even try for a fix on Stephen’s sexual orientation- most of the others thought of him as largely sexless, and even Jane- as the only one who had ever broached the subject, the only one who had ever tried- knew only what he did.  He wanted Robert, helplessly, and he liked her.  Once they all went their separate ways, she had assumed that Stephen would either find a way to get Robert, or he would move on- and she had further assumed that, if he did move on, it would be with a man.  “Didn’t I hear something about you getting married?”  She wasn’t sure what surprised her more- to believe as she had for some years that he had moved on but not with a man, or to suspect as she did now that he had managed to neither get Robert nor move on.  

Stephen cleared his throat, an action which judging by his small wince didn’t feel especially pleasant.  She decided to wait and crow about that later on.  “That wasn’t... how it might’ve appeared.”

“No?”  Jane chuckled as what he was implying became clear to her.  “A bit of playacting for queen and country that went a little too far?”  She should have known it was something like that.  After all, where was this wife while Stephen was on the run from hired killers?  Where was she now?

“Yes.”  Stephen sounded very wry, and also more than a little fond as he continued: “She was a good operative.  I did... like her.”

“In much the same way that you liked me, I suppose,” Jane said.

Stephen’s fond look somehow contrived to deepen.  “I have never liked anyone in quite the same way I did you.”

“Right,” she said.  Jane had quit blushing a long time ago, but she did think she felt perhaps the faintest heat along her cheeks right then, all the same.  It was the closest thing to a declaration of love as she was likely to ever receive in this quarter- though she had had her chances elsewhere over the years, to be sure- and she intended to enjoy it. “Did Robert get to meet her?”

“Once or twice.”

“Then it really did go too far,” Jane observed, trying to contain the amusement she felt when she so much as thought about it.  From the light in Stephen’s eyes, though, he didn’t mind her having a laugh at his expense on the subject.  She might very well be the only person he knew who could ever understand just what was so funny. 

They were so ridiculous, him and Robert.  If only Jane didn’t like them both so much.  And if only she didn’t love-

It- _Stephen_ \- hardly bore thinking about anymore.  When she realized where his affections primarily lay she had decided that she would never pine after Stephen Fisher, and for the most part she hadn’t done.  She didn’t regret not ending up like Sarah Maitland, playing house and letting her heart shrivel up as she fought to pull her little strings and stay relevant while forever a step away from the action.  That would have really turned her into a monster- one that would have made Sarah look tame by comparison at that.  And maybe she and Stephen could have been monsters together, and maybe from their viewpoint it could have been magnificent- but again, it hardly bore thinking about anymore.

There was no going back. 

She glanced at Stephen and she could see that the subject was now a closed one- because Stephen never liked to dwell on Robert for long, and because he was a little overtired for any conversation at all.  That was just as well.  Jane wanted to get back to her book, and it wasn’t as though these problems, now decades old, would be going anywhere in the meantime.

She pulled her chair closer to Stephen’s bedside and put up her feet, her heel resting up against Stephen’s knee- the kind of easy closeness they couldn’t have with almost anyone, except behind closed doors.  That was something else that she had missed about Stephen; he was the only one who knew how to let her be vulnerable without ever actually feeling vulnerable.

“Don’t you have other business to attend to?” Stephen sniffed, the euphemism ringing sharp on his ragged voice.  He didn’t currently have the energy to be truly upset about her playing on the other side of the river, but once he did she wouldn’t hear the end of it, not for a long while.  For some reason, she found herself looking forward to it.    

“Not at the moment,” she told him sweetly.

He pulled a face which softened straightaway, and for a few moments he just... looked at her.  Then his eyes drifted shut, and she wasn’t sure if he had fallen asleep or if he was just playing at it. 

“You’re not getting rid of me,” she told him in a low voice, not really caring which of the two it was.  She didn’t just mean today or tomorrow or whenever finally he made his escape from the hospital and went back to work again.  She had told herself, once, that to stay in touch with him- and with the others- would be pure sentiment, foolish, not to be indulged, and maybe she had been right all along.  And if she had been, well...

There were worse things than getting a little sentimental in one’s old age. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come see me on [tumblr](http://potentiality-26.tumblr.com).


End file.
